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Yep, clowns to the left of me (Derek) and jokers to the right (Elmar) and I’m stuck between them on a flight from Melbourne to Sydney. I forget how much I hate being in the middle until you’re stuck between two broad shouldered paleo-zealots with a penchant for sleeping and crossing their arms! I mean seriously, where is the consideration for my fragile well being? Where has the love gone?

I know they don’t mean to be bastards. But luck bastards they are.

I will get those arm rests back I swear!